Open Wide

Magnum, d.d.s.

Photo credit: v90v

Bumper Sticker #3

Which one are you?

Photo credit: thecontaminated.com

Shoe Cycle

Some say Ed has carried his shoe fetish a little too far.

Photo credit: autoroyalty

Disasters and Flops

A blogger's delimma, to write something worthy, to capture the reader's attention with every word typed onto a pixelated screen with pictures that are interesting and links that teleport you into another web page filled with new and exciting material. It was only about 15 years or so ago that the thought of a weblog replacing newspapers and magazines would have been crazy talk. A few years before that, the computer was nothing more than a more sophisticated approach to gaming while dial-up modems gave gamers access to high-scores and bragging rights. Internet shopping was in its infancy and chat rooms were the predecessor to social media. Fast-foward to today where a swollen economy has spelled disaster for the housing market and retailers are struggling to attract shoppers.

Cars too have evolved, from Henry Ford's humble "Tin Lizzie" to adaptive cruise control and park assist systems that put the driving into a computer's hands. Talk of such advanced devices even just a decade ago would have been shunned as a concept from an Asimov novel. The car business too is struggling in spite of quality that has improved greatly just in the past 5 years. The automobile has, however, had its share of flops, here are some that ring throughout post-war history and some may even be part of the reason we are in a pickle today:

1. Porsche 914
Reason: Like putting a block of government cheese into a Whole Foods, the brand was cheapened by this VW-engined Porsche.
2. VW 411/412
Reason: Ugly styling, pricey, and slow sales. Need I say more?

Photo credit: njsimca
3. AMC Pacer
Reason: A jelly-bean should not be a design inspiration.
4. Renault anything from the 80's
Reason: Renault saved AMC from bankruptcy, but flooded the market with cheap and unreliable cars.
5. Chevrolet Corvair
Reason: Chevy's answer to the Beetle, but safety wasn't one of its strengths. A marketing disaster after Ralph Nader put up a stink.
6. Ford Mustang II
Reason: A Mustang with the underpinnings of a Pinto?!
7. Pontiac Aztek
Reason: Are the folks that buy these transportation devices as weird as the syling on this thing?
8. Cadillac Cimarron
Reason: Lipstick on a pig anyone? Even the wreath and crest couldn't hide the humble Cavalier roots.

Photo credit: snid
9. Jaguar X-Type
Reason: See above, a Ford Contour in disguise!
10. Ford T-Bird 2002-2005
Reason: The retro styling craze that made the PT Cruiser so popular, failed to garner buyer's interest in this over-priced, poor handling design disaster.

Slider!

Brings a whole new definition to turtling.


Photo credit: kids-teens.org

Sanford & Son Redux

The neighbors knew Bill was special when he painted his house, but then he brought home his work truck...

Photo credit: askobac

Elvis Lives!

...and he uses Shell gas.

Photo credit: superponible

Barney's Ride?

Tom enjoyed the attention at the parade until he realized the mandibular canines created a huge blind spot and collided with a Shriner's miniature car.

Photo credit: secrets2222

Bumper Sticker #2

Hopefully the camp isn't teaching spelling lessons...


Photo credit: wishardofoz

Taxi!!

Anita, sick of hearing her kids arguing over riding shotgun, solved that problem.


Photo credit: funnyjunksite

Top 10 Douchebag Cars

Photo credit: MOBSTA7

1. Chrysler 300
Typical driver: The poor man's Bentley styling says look at me, the douche owner also has a high-maintenance wife/girlfriend to go with it.

2. Cadillac Escalade
Typical driver: Besides being a magnet for car thieves, Escalades attract douches that also enjoy wearing Uggs with their shorts.

3. Any lifted 4X4 with 22" or larger rims
Typical driver: Bros in Black Flys sunglasses, hangs out at the local college bar in search of a party or his next victim in which to slip a roofie.

Photo credit: Auto Site

4. Mercedes C-class
Typical driver: I just leased this so I can have a three-pointed star in my driveway too!

5. Dodge Magnum
Typical driver: See #1 with some practicality thrown in.

6. Range Rover
Typical driver: Go anywhere capability meets mall parking lot, I like to be rugged while roughing it with my iPhone while hiking in an urban park.

7. Nissan 350z Convertible
Typical driver: I'm a 30 something year-old suffering from my pre-mid-life crisis

8. Volvo S60/V50
Typical driver: I'm a douche that attended Brown and also appreciate safety while driving 85 mph with my family in tow.


Photo credit: Off-Road

9. Ford Ranger 4X4
Typical owner: I am a bro in training, I enjoy beer pong and long walks on the beach.

10. Chevrolet Impala w/ 20" rims or larger
Typical owner: Gangsta douche, bonus points for fender bling.

Blinged Out Lexus

All that Ashley is missing is a princess license plate frame.

Photo credit: Suzanne M.

Jackson Pollock's Ride

Photo credit: http://www.beleza-music.org/photos/pr/oldsanjuan/images/crazy-car.jpg
Bird droppings, where?

Pac Man on Crack

Photo credit: http://blog.oregonlive.com/nwheadlines/2008/08/Monstero204.jpg Much to the love of his HOA, Bob can no longer fit his vehicle in his garage.

Police Brutality?

Photo credit: http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/002048.html
Steve got the last laugh on his last day at the Kern County-contracted graphics company.

Bumper Sticker #1

...but it does make you special.
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/iirraa/1842459458/

Planter anyone?

Jeff found out firsthand about the mean streets of Aspen.
Photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/victory_rose

Start

Cars- what some consider a basic transportation device others see as a blank canvas. There are those motorists that use it as an outlet in which to express ourselves, be it our choice for the next president, a rolling memorial, a mobile billboard to display our children's accomplishments or the amount of offspring beared, a bling device, or simply a work of art. The car is more than just four wheels and a powertrain surrounded by metal, plastic, and glass.

Purpose: This is an interactive search for the truly bizarre, the quest to find the biggest laugh (even if it's your uncle's Pinto), and I am looking for your submission of the truly automotive wackiness that exists amongst the millions of vehicles that inhabit our roads each and every day.
For example:


Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ianjacobs/490439343/

Not every '89 Camry was created equal, some deserve the Reynold's treatment.

Call to action: With the advent of camera phones and their increasing prevalence, there are other cars waiting to be featured in this blog, and I am asking you to capture these mobiles canvases in all their glory. The vehicle owners are also open game especially if they and their ride are made for each other, funny and unique bumper stickers are also welcome, and finally, liberal application of hot glue and plastic figurines and other forms of flair are always a visual treat. Submit them here, and maybe your photo will be posted on wackycarphotoblog.